I think I am still coming to terms with this (quite wonderful might I add) transition in my life. The hours are bonkers, My body is sort of going through hell, but more importantly my mind is incredibly clear. And that last part, is for me, the most important. I can’t tell you how many voices there are up there some days. Trying to organize all the tasks, commands and DOS prompts into some sort of priority was a pipe dream back in the day. To this day I still wonder why, what could have caused that choke point? I am seriously starting to think it was the simple act of a) sitting in a chair for 8 hours a day and 2) being entranced by the bug light that is a screen (phone, computer, tv, et al.).
But no. In this new life I have goals. Small ones. Fix a window. Repair a headlight. Renovate a 4500 sq ft house. And knocking these small goals off the list has become my measure of efficiency.
As I cross things off, it seems my mind turns this pro-activeness into soundbites of inspiration. Inspiration which, admittedly, helps me wake up everyday. You see some goals while small, are daunting. Some goals, have yet to even get started. The weight of horizon goals weigh on me daily, and the turmoil (at least some see it that way, I sort of, well, don’t) that is my schedule can certainly bring bouts of depression, or thoughts that things are too big for just me.
While all this may be true, energy like that is contagious. It lives within the cracks and crevices of the weary. Under knick-knacks, and behind closet doors. And sometimes, you need yourself to remind you. Or your loved ones, that the power to succeed is within you. That you can simply will it into being. For the first time in a very long time, I haven’t the foggiest idea how the next few weeks, months or years are going to play out. I have absolutely no roadmap. But I know I am in for one hell of a ride thanks to my heart, and that stupid part of my brain shouting words of encouragement and reminders of successes, that has become (finally) more powerful than the other part of my brain that shouts out the failures and reminders of the foggy road ahead.
The video above is for all those that feel lost. The Neo’s stuck in Kafkaland. The superheroes with middle-of-the-road origins and no sense of drive. Your head runs your day, but your heart runs your life. If the video above inspires you, great, then you were meant to watch it. If it’s cheesy, and leaves you feeling kind of “meh”, then you aren’t at a point where you need to watch it. Bookmark it, save it for the rainy day.
I suppose I should have written about how I did the renovation on the 40dm. Seeing as she was quite the interesting challenge. I should have, and I will. But for now I am just going to sit here. Sip my milkshake and smile at my minor achievement. Tomorrow I will smile at Pam’s achievement. Derek’s on the next. I might even smile at two people’s on Saturday, I am looking at you Bob and Laura. Because you are all so very smile-worthy.
Ok, I’m done drinking the Kool Aid now. Keep being smile-worthy Cincy, and #bethechange you want to see in the world.